who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
