great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
