two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
