Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
