if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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