I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Randomize