Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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