So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
either way he was missing a nipple.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
