I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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