Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
