google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
No subtext here. People are naked.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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