You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
