I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
