She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
