I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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