when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
