I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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