If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
