Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Randomize
