Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
