On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
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