Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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