No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
