Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
only you would photoshop your dick
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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