my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
