It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
