YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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