I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
