oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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