what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
