This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
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She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
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Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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