I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Let's get the cat blown out
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
