There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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