I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
