Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
