I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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