I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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