Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
