well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
