I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
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