Welp...herpes.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
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Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
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I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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