i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
