I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
