why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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