:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
