Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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