so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
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He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
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So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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