new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
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I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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