She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
