i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
