It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
