now i know why i became what i already was.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
We have started to decorate penises.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
