I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Randomize