I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Say something about gay babies.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
