I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize