I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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