My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
