I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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