I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
