sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Less talking, more tequila
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
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