it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Come see our sink grown plant.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
