yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
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