It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
