I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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