i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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