Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
